Girl with a pet hearing
A child with a pet meets a Contemporary sculpture lying on the floor. This is what they say.
Art: Hello, look at me. I am contemporary art.
Viewer: Oh. OK (remotest of furrows) complimentary art. Why are you lying there?
A: I’m new here.
V: Don’t you have any friends?
A: No, I have contemporaries. Lots. All alive and well, but soon to be dropping like flies.
V: What’s your name?
A: Contemporary Art.
V: How old are you?
V: That’s not an age.
A: No. It’s a time.
V: where do you come from?
A: I don’t come from anywhere. I am NOW.
V: You’re confusing to talk to. And your complimentaries are dying. That makes you like old people. You are old.
A: No. I am new. I am now.
V: You look uncomfortable. And you are the only ‘thing’ in here. All the others are old and on the wall. Do you feel out of place?
A: No. I am very much at home. I am Contemporary. This is my moment. I belong here and now.
V: But you have no friends, you are lonely.
A: NO. No I am NOT. I have many frie.. Contemporaries. They are alive and well.
V: Are these other paintings your friends?
A: (marble sigh) I know of them.
V: But not as friends?
V: So who are your friends?
A: Jesus wept child…I have contemporaries not friends.
V: Sounds Lonely.
A: I am NOT lonely. I have numerous contemporaries who are ALIVE and… oh piss off.
La Trahison des Images (Ceci N’est pas une Raison)
A difficult woman with a cat at home meets a difficult piece of Art hanging on a wall. This is what they say.
ART: Hello, look at Me. I’m quite difficult.
Viewer: Oh, OK (remotest of reluctance) difficult art. Do you challenge me to ask the right questions before assuming a meaning?
V: So there are correct questions?
V: Oh… OK. I suppose I should ask if there is a definitive meaning?
V: (ill-fitted pause)…
A: The answer is no.
V: I see. Is your intent to confuse may I ask? To cross wires? Create connections that lead to anew?
V: O k a y… Are you at once art about art but so radically fresh and without provenance that to use ‘art’ as a language for deciphering your meaning would be… difficult?
V: Right. OK. Should I be looking for a trick?
A: It’s possible.
V: Ah, so there is something to unearth. A set of gestures, co-ordinates if you will. Strict iterations of process and intent that allude to your truth?
V: Christ… is this? You. Really worth the vex and the dissemination of prior knowledge and personal collective experience in responding to aesthetic to understand you?
A: You are curious as to my complexity of meaning.
V: (audible shudder)… Jesus. I’m not now.